The Buddy System

Habit change is hard. It requires prolonged discipline over many weeks and months. Research shows that one of the best ways to support habit change is by having social support. A study published in 2018 showed that those who identified one support person had a 61% increase in success rate!

We recommend you find someone you’re close enough to to share openly about your progress, challenges and experience throughout.

Small groups can also work very well, as long as they are committed to meeting regularly. For groups, we recommend eight people or less. Any more than eight people is hard to organize and loses the sense of personal connection.

We discount the program for both participants if you sign up with a buddy. We also offer discounted group pricing to encourage groups whenever possible.

Working With Your Buddy or Group

As a duo or a group, get together before you start, in person where possible or virtually over a video call. Collectively determine the following logistics before you embark on the journey:

Pace

As a pair or group, you need to discuss openly how you’d like to pace yourself going through The Program. We don’t recommend any less than five weeks, one per Module. You might decide to take two or three weeks per Module, it’s really up to you. There is no right or wrong pace, except to rush through it in less that five weeks. (There is too much heavy lifting in terms of behavior change for that to work.)

Existing Commitments

As a part of determining pace, you should compare calendars and identify any particular heavy work commitments, vacation, or travel that might change the timeline for completing the course. It’s no problem to pause for a couple days or a week (while maintaining any existing practices you’ve implemented by that point), as long as your group or partner can agree to the timeline in advance so no one is caught off guard.

Set a Regular Time to Meet

Find a time each week for a minimum of 30 minutes to connect in person, over video, or phone, to discuss progress, challenges and shared experience. If you’re a group of 4 or more, you’ll likely need an hour so that everyone has a chance to share or ask for support. Lock this into your calendar so it’s set in advance and commit to meeting every week. Your individual commitment will be to have gone through the week’s content and complete any exercises before the call so you can discuss the substance of what you’ve learned.

Confidentiality

Any time you’re doing something that involves behavior change and breaking habits, it can be personal. As a duo or group, form an agreement that everything discussed and shared throughout this program will be kept strictly confidential unless it’s explicitly made clear that something can be shared. As a rule, it’s a good idea to reaffirm your confidentiality agreement with one another at the beginning of each meeting. That can be done as simply as one person stating: “As a group, we’ve each agreed to keep everything that is shared within this program confidential, unless it’s explicitly stated that something can be shared.” As a group you can determine what amount of confidentiality you’re all comfortable with. For instance, as a group you might be comfortable with photos of your meetups to be published on social media where others might not be cool with that.

Share Your Goals

As part of this Module, you will have completed your personal contract, outlining why you’re doing this and what it will mean for you. Start or end your first meeting by sharing your answers with one another. On a weekly basis, share what goals you’ve set with your practices. This isn’t a competition, so remember not to worry about setting a target that feels less ambitious than someone else. This is a personal journey, and ultimately you’re better off setting targets you can achieve. Sharing your goals and targets is more about asking for your buddy or group to help hold you accountable to whatever you’ve committed to do.

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